I heard a soft voice... gently repeating... "Go back to the Garden", as I sat with a small group of women during a moment of quiet prayer, asking the Spirit of the Lord, "What would You have us pray about ... please speak to us that we might receive that which YOU desire to impart." We each desired for His Spirit to speak to us and move through us, revealing to us His power... His heart's desire and will... through having gathered us together, acknowledging His Presence.
Father God had revealed Himself to each of us through an encounter with Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit, (independent of one another). Having met... we had become knit in our hearts... through our love for Him... and it brought us great joy and spiritual insight to enter into His Presence with others of the mind of Christ. We enjoyed witnessing His Presence and power in one another... through our spiritual union with the Holy Spirit within. We were in the habit of gathering, to acknowledge God together in various ways ... in my home, since I managed a home based Carpet Cleaning Business HE has birthed.... on this afternoon around 1986, we were being moved to listen to God through an attitude of prayer. I was in my mid thirties, as were most of these women.
I remember telling them I sensed 'the Spirit of the Lord wants us to go back to the Garden of Paradise' ... I suggested we each shut ourselves off further, continue to listen for His voice and wait for Him to speak to us, and show us what this means, if this be true. I encouraged them... telling them 'I am being strongly impressed, we are not to be surprised if images come empowering us to see through His spiritual eyes, as we wait with our eyes closed... with a quieted mind, while we pray in the Spirit.'
All of us, who were gathered, were accustom to the Spirit moving through us to various degrees with the gift of the Holy Spirit ... in particular, we each had the manifestation of praying in tongues, which we understood to be the language of the Spirit... God's Holy Spirit, praying a perfect prayer through us and we allowed it to come through us freely, while together, (0r alone); we called this form of prayer, praying in the Spirit, and Jesus interceding through us with perfect prayers. I suggested we each 'wait upon His Holy Spirit to speak to us, through the power of the name of Jesus, through these images if they appear, or however He chooses to do so... as we wait upon His Spirit to show us further, Father's heart in this moment'.
As I sat waiting... my eyes closed... allowing His Spirit to pray through me... in this spiritual language, receiving internal impressions as I did ... an image of light formed in the spirit of my mind... possibly in an area some refer to as their minds eye. As the light grew... it came into focus. I became aware of two young adults, who I understood to be Adam and Eve. They were naked, frolicking in a beautiful meadow... there was a forest surrounding it and I recognized they were in a clearing. The splendor of a virgin creation abounded. A strong impression washed over me, that they were very much in love... and free from corruption.... and no children had yet been conceived. I sensed their peace and joy and the unspoiled love, which filled them. There was nothing negative about their entire lives... they were pure... and I was watching them... with God.
It was as if God's mind and my own were one, I was aware our creator felt what I felt... and saw what I saw... and heard what I heard.... and was giving me the understanding this was taking place at the dawn of time. Whether I was in the body or out of the body I do not know... I was unaware of being anyplace but in the mind of God and it appeared to be in real time. I was a part of God yet separate from God. He was a part of me... yet separate from me. I was seeing through His eyes of eternity, our thoughts were one yet separate. I was comfortable with Him... it seemed as though we had never been separated in time and eternity and our mutual love was at its fullest. I cannot begin to express all which was taking place within. I sensed we were very intimate companions and always would be ... and He had brought me to this moment in time and eternity, through love... for a reason, yet to be revealed.
Eventually new thoughts surfaced... beginning with how sin became a part of Adam and Eve.... humanity ... filling me with grief. I wept... in agony for God... for all of His creation. I thought I understood some of the ramifications of the choices, which were made and their negative effects on generations to come. I knew there was much I did not as yet understand... as new thoughts continued to fill me.
Through what seemed to be my own limited understanding, my grief and pain turned to hate... I cannot begin to express the degree of hate I felt... it grew... on many levels... I hated sin and its consequences.... I hated that which corrupted... and deceives. I hated the unredeemed nature. I hated Adam and Eve for yielding to temptation and sin ... for hurting God... and for what they had created through self will and rebellion. I hated Satan. I could not bear the thought of hurting God. I started to become angry with God... for having allowed the whole scenario... for having given us free will.... my hate rose up from a place of ignorance and........
As quickly as the hate had arrived... love returned... offering forgiveness, as I became aware free will choice is a necessary part of life... because love is a choice... goodness is a choice, and all contrast once seen and understood, provides an healthy opportunity for a fresh choice and inner transformation/restoration. I better understood His eternal plan... which would work all out for the good... which was necessary that we might have life and it more abundantly... I recognized such began at the foundations of the world... having already been considered and fulfilled victoriously in the mind of God, before anything else came into being on a realm we can relate to. I understood as an expression of my love... I needed to surrender to His revealed will... that I could not hurt Him.. that it was necessary for me to go through the process of life on earth in order to have life after this life. It seemed as though I was in that eternal moment of conception and fulfillment of His plan with God, through this present impartation of a revelation, mere words cannot express ... nor our finite mind can comprehend fully.... all is spiritually discerned... and comes in waves of consciousness, as reality unfolds before us.
It was then our creator asked me to forgive Adam and Eve... and to embrace myself as a conscious part of them as one of their descendants.... as a joint heir with Christ. Shortly before this, I had only experienced myself as one with God from the beginning... as His beloved who had a pure heart and an intimate relationship with Him... now I was to experience myself as who I am to be redeemed in Christ, through choosing to embrace Father's will for my life. The thought of this caused me to weep deeply... I did not want to be a part of Adam and Eve... I did not want to be a part of anything, which would hurt Him... or cause us to be separated, for even a moment. I could not endure the thought of sin living through me... the pain became insufferable as I wept deeply.
As I recognized I was wrestling with God's will for my life.... I came to understand... in order for me to have life with Him eternally as a pure eternal spiritual vessel, a faith Being... as a part of the mystical body of Christ, as His Spiritual Bride redeemed... as God's eternal companion of love and holiness, I had to let go of my life with Him as I was at that eternal moment... by freely embracing fully who I would be in my humanity and spirituality, as both a descendant of Adam and Eve and their death process... as well as a descendant of Jesus Christ and His resurrection process. Seeing myself hid deep within their cells, my life awakened through the gift of faith at a future date... redeemed through Christ since the foundations of the world... I understood, that which would follow... would only be a moment, compared to eternity... and all which would happen would deepen the love and understanding between God and myself and our devotion one to another... and it would form who I would be for all of eternity … He having birthed my Spirit as a new creation and restored my Soul to perfection, through His righteous, ultimately loving and just eternal plan. A plan established... in Spirit and in Truth at the foundations of the world.... a victorious plan fulfilled in the Spirit, and yet to be lived out in time and eternity... for the sake of us all through unconditional love. I understood much... as I surrendered my will... receiving ever increasing faith... empowered through love and truth and righteousness... I understood... I would experience these spiritual truths in increasing measure... as a reality in my life which was to yet to come....
Suddenly the scene changed... I found myself walking through the meadow ... towards the woods, leaving all else behind. I was being drawn to them... without expectations. Upon entering, a short distance off I recognized Jesus sitting on a fallen tree... waiting for me.
Although I was pleased to see Him, I did not hurry my steps... and I wondered at my actions. As I came closer... He stood, smiled a warm smile and reached out to embrace me. I stiffened at His touch... becoming aware I was suddenly afraid of being violated by Him....it seemed as though it would be wrong to let Him touch me. He held me even so... with a warm, loving embrace... absorbing my fears and all which had previously come between us, and all which ever would. I was being cleansed and set free from ......... I stood there... allowing Him to hold me... expressing Gods Spirit of unconditional love, mercy and healing power. I finally collapsed into His arms, crying... recognizing the need to be released from lies and false concepts, all which had separated me from love and His truth. From deep within me... shame and an awareness of the sin nature came to the surface.
I wept uncontrollably as I poured out my heart; "I am so sorry... I didn't know... I am so sorry... nobody told me it was wrong... I am so sorry! Please forgive me! I am so sorry......" I could not remember what it was exactly that I had done wrong which I was so ashamed of... and I knew it was not important for me to know any longer ... it was as if it were buried... dead and gone.... long ago forgiven and forgotten... and the time had come to be released from the affects it still held over my soul... and over the soul of others. It was time for the fullness of His redemptive plan to unfold experientially with greater awareness and understanding. I knew I did not need to remember... for whatever it was... it was a part of the human experience... of which mine was but one of many.... all I needed do at that moment, was release it and it's consequences ... and receive His forgiveness, love and transformative power; everything was already taken care of.... and ALL would work out for the good... for His plan was good and not evil.... and HE would bring it to pass.... according to HIS timing and HIS ways.
As I surrendered.. I came to understand, some form of perverted abuse had left me powerless, kept me bound and unable to make right choices, to receive and give true love and connect and function in a loving healthy way. I was aware... whatever had happened, my trust... my purity... my life... my love had been taken advantage of... for another's selfish pleasure... and this was why I had been so uncomfortable with His touch and felt so dead inside as I walked towards Jesus.
As Jesus continued to hold me... I wept... emptying my heart of pain and ignorance. I gradually began to feel totally safe in His arms... a place I never wanted to leave. I was aware the wisdom and purity of God's nature was flowing through me... replacing that which had defiled and burdened my Soul, wounding my Spirit. I sensed a greater degree of God's unconditional love and desires for my life than ever before, something I did not think was possible, due to previous impartations. As we communed... I came to understand I had been born with a false image/concept of life, others, myself, truth as a whole … what was expected of me and others and it had kept us in bondage, through what it is to be ruled by the unredeemed nature. As quickly as I became aware of my perverted thinking... which came in waves of understanding... it left... changing me deep within forever with truths, God's Spirit alone could impart in there place.... truths I would someday experience as my reality with power HE had stored up for such.
It seemed to be once the work of this Spiritual transformation deep within me was complete... I found myself suddenly back with my lady friends.... astonished. As I shared what I received... I knew it was not just for myself alone.... I understood to a greater degree how we are interconnected and how life is truly a gift of grace for us all and it unfolds from glory to glory... revealing HIS redemptive plan to greater degrees from generation to generation.
I can't remember what occurred for the rest of the ladies... except I do remember He brought each of us into His Presence in a unique way... and spoke something to our hearts... which HE knew we each needed to hear in that moment.